Time to jump off a cliff

My first day back at work today.

I was immediately filled with anxiety and stress.

I wanted to go back to focusing on time with my son, and exploring the world with him.

In reality, I can still do this - I have the benefit of flexibility as the owner, and can be a dad and work at the same time without doing crazy hours.

However, at the end of last year, my business lost some customers. This wasn’t due to any failure by us, just a change in objectives for those clients.

It’s rare I lose customers. In 15 years there’s only been a few, and most of them I didn’t mind parting with because they weren’t a good fit for what we do.

I need to replace what we’ve lost, and ideally add a couple more to ensure we have some financial leeway.

Since I’m a technician by trade, my instinct is to work internally. I think that by improving our service, we will attract more customers.

However, this just isn’t the case. Of course service is important but our marketing and sales is what actually wins us customers.

Our service is already excellent, as demonstrated by our great retention.

Sales feels to me like the last great uncharted land. I’ve done everything else in my business and figured it out, but sales remains something I’m afraid of.

All my growth so far has come through referral, save for a few clients we’ve picked up after working with a marketing company here and there.

None of the marketing efforts I’ve done have been particularly successful. We’ve barely broken even, and often attract less than ideal clientele.

Additionally, I’m not comfortable being represented by another business that has its own way of doing outreach that doesn’t always align with my beliefs.

My anxiety and stress comes from the sense that I need to work harder to get new clients. Problem is, I hate the idea of lead generation and sales and marketing. I enjoy solving problems for people, not trying to get in the door.

I don’t know how I can get more clients in a way I enjoy, and due to how my brain works, it’s nearly impossible for me to do something I don’t enjoy. I can force myself through it on occasion but it’s never consistent and I rarely do a good job.

I think the answer is to hire a salesperson. Someone who can learn our products and services, and understand our style and what types of businesses make good clients for us.

There’s two challenges:

First, we have very little marketing collateral and no systems in place to support a salesperson. I’d need someone who was comfortable working independently, with loose guidance from me, and developing their own framework.

Second is the cost. We are already maxed out supporting our team, and my family costs mean I can’t reduce my wage significantly. T is returning to work now which will help - but there’s uncertainty and challenges there too.

So, I think the answer is to go back to basics. Realign with what really matters to our clients - fast, friendly, and highly skilled IT support. In doing so, we can perhaps cut some costs from systems and tools that aren’t contributing to our core service delivery.

This will hopefully free up some cashflow and give more of a runway for a salesperson. I think three months is the minimum to move the needle - but maybe six months is more realistic.

It’s a scary thought to invest $20,000+ in something that may not deliver any results — but that’s my fear of sales talking.

My logical brain knows that if we go from doing zero sales to doing 30+ hours a week, there will definitely be results, even if the person I hire is not that skilled.

If we acquire three medium sized clients, it would cover the investment. One a month.

Time to jump off a cliff and see where I land.

January 6, 2025 Journal






Little joys, and meeting my heroes

I haven’t driven my Z4 since last year!

Ok, jokes aside, it’s been three weeks, I’ve been pretty busy with Xmas and new years, and generally if I’m leaving the house, Mr P is coming with me and he’s not yet old enough to go in the Z4.

I had a short drive to the fancy market in the city to get some things for dinner.

The Z4’s cabin feels special, and I love looking across to see the low curving roofline and no back seats! An old pic from a rainy evening.The Z4’s cabin feels special, and I love looking across to see the low curving roofline and no back seats! An old pic from a rainy evening.

It’s not an interesting drive - just suburbs and some motorway - but the magic of the Z4 is that it still manages to make this a special occasion, and a great experience.

Dropping the roof on a warm afternoon when the sun is low and getting the wind in my hair is instantly revitalising.

As I get to the tunnel, I get a well timed red light and put the roof back up, just in time for the green. Cruising through the tunnel now, the car feels like a grand-touring capsule of speed that could cross the country with ease.

I was spotted in the tunnel by a friend who snapped this great pic!I was spotted in the tunnel by a friend who snapped this great pic!

Arriving in the valley, the engine has warmed up. I again drop the roof and with gentle throttle wind it out to the 7,000rpm redline.

It’s silky smooth, and hearing the glorious howl of the twin turbo straight six cylinder N54 bouncing off the walls around me is a delight.

I pick up some chicken, veggies, and fruit, and head home.

As I’ve owned the Z4 for two years now and have been falling more in love with it as time goes on, I start to wonder if it might just be the perfect sports car for me.

I always liked the Z4 - when it was released I thought it was the only convertible I might actually own. However when I did eventually buy, I thought it would be a stepping stone before my real desire - an Aston Martin V12 Vantage.

One of the prettiest cars ever made.One of the prettiest cars ever made.

I now ask myself whether an Aston could be so much better to justify the extra $160,000, especially when I would only drive it once a fortnight.

I guess it depends on the value of money. If you have millions, the price difference becomes less relevant, but I’m not there yet and it would be a lot of capital to have invested in a toy car.

My wife T got me a wonderful present for Christmas - a drive day where I get to try five different supercars. Ferrari, Lamborghini, Lotus, McLaren, and Aston.

I’ve been collecting Aston memorabilia for many years.I’ve been collecting Aston memorabilia for many years.

I’m excited to go and see what they’re like, but a part of me wonders whether it’s better to not meet my heroes, in case I’m disappointed.

The let-down could be a good thing, it would release me from my goal of owning one and let me be happy(ier) with what I have.

Or maybe it would just create a vacuum for me to try to fill with something else to lust after!

I have a number of 1/18 scale models too.I have a number of 1/18 scale models too.

On the other hand, if it is as amazing as I’ve been led to believe, it might sour the experience of owning the Z4. Though I think I’m mature enough to avoid that.

No matter the outcome I’m really excited to go and have an awesome day driving some very special cars.

When I was shopping for my Golf, I tried a GTI and liked it. Then I tried an R and couldn’t go back. Hopefully it won’t be like that 😅

After my experience with my MX-5 I can’t see myself ever owning a soft top again, so the Aston would be a hardtop.

If I am one day financially able to buy one, it would also mean giving up the convertible, which I’ve really come to enjoy.

Maybe the closest I’ll get to owning one, and that’s OK.Maybe the closest I’ll get to owning one, and that’s OK.

Right now, if I had 160k, I’d rather put it toward a holiday home and enjoy the Z4 for the great value fun it provides.

…or maybe upgrade the Macan for a Panamera that I could enjoy every day! 😅

January 5, 2025 Articles






Happy new year 2025

This year has been the hardest of my life, but also the most wonderful.

Some days I am just surviving, and others are glorious. Many are both.

I was quite down on new year’s day. I have spent the past few months focused on making it to Christmas, and many things had been put in the next year’ basket.

Now that next year is here, I have to deal with all that stuff.

It was overwhelming, especially since I return to work in only a few days. All my lofty ideas have to be turned into action.

After the first few months of 2024, I gave myself a free pass to focus solely on my son for the rest of the year. I found it really stressful to try to be an entrepreneur and a dad at the same time. They felt like opposite personalities.

I tend to go to extremes, so I either want to be superdad or superbusinessman and there’s nothing in between.

If I try to do both, I burn myself out with crazy expectations.

My challenge this year is to take the middle road, and find a way of doing both in a sustainable way.

January 2, 2025 Journal






The angst of outsourcing

If you want something done right, do it yourself.

That’s how the saying goes, but it can’t be true or the world wouldn’t work.

My wife has been asking me to do some work around the house for the past few months. They’re things that I recognise are of moderate importance but haven’t reached the threshold to drive me to do them. I think there’s a few reasons why:

  • They’re not tasks that I’d enjoy doing - they fall below the threshold of being a challenge, but above the line for being easy.
  • It’s difficult (but not impossible) to get a contiguous block of time to do the task.
  • I’d rather be doing something fun or relaxing / resting when I have the opportunity.
  • I don’t know how to do the task, or have the items or tools required.
  • I seem to have an aversion to doing things that people ask me to do.

I’ve caused myself a lot of frustration and self-loathing, because each time my wife brings it up I am reminded of my failure.

She also suggested we outsource the jobs to a handyman, but this didn’t seem like an option available to me as it challenged my personal brand as someone who is capable of these kinds of things.

If someone else chose to hire a handyman I wouldn’t think any less of them, so I’m holding myself to a standard that is rooted in some self doubt, like I have to prove I’m worthy of existing by doing something useful.

Ironically if I’d just outsourced this months ago, it would be done, and I’d have saved myself a lot of angst.

In the past five years I’ve been slowly pushing my tolerance for risk in my business, and allowing others to do more of the work that I used to do.

It’s been a resounding success and I couldn’t have grown the company as much as I have, nor found time to start my family, without the amazing work of my employees.

By giving away the work that no longer gets me excited, or things I’m not naturally good at, it’s allowed me to spend more time and energy on things that I can really make a difference on.

I think I need to apply the same approach to my personal and family life. Outsourcing household jobs may allow me to conserve my energy for work, and for being the best dad and husband I can be.

In the past I’ve tried having a home cleaner, but have always been disappointed with the results. I think this time I will treat it like I do my business and not accept poor quality work.

My greatest learning from being an employer is that systems, policies and incentives aren’t important. No matter what, finding the right people is transformative, and the wrong people is destructive.

December 30, 2024 Journal






His noble steed

His noble steedHis noble steed

December 28, 2024 Photo Reel






Dirty but still fast

Dirty but still fastDirty but still fast

December 28, 2024 Photo Reel