The powerful lighthouse, and gratitude
Sometimes I get a bit grumpy. I can become depressed, or frustrated with how things are going in my life.
I have so much to be happy about, and I think most people would swap lives with me in an instant.
What’s more, thanks to my privilege I have many ways to alleviate my own suffering that others may not.
Despite this, being angry with myself for not being happy doesn’t help - I’ve come to accept that my suffering isn’t any less valid because I have a great life.
There’s plenty of miserable people in Ferraris and yachts!
A customer once shared his management methodology with me, and I think it applies to life too.
He said that he is like a powerful lighthouse, shining his light across the land that is his business.
However, he can only shine his light in one area at a time, and so he must be aware that there are areas he can’t see or manage, and must be diligent in choosing what to focus on.
Extending this idea, the lighthouse of my mind will shine on one thing at the exclusion of others, even if it’s something bad.
While I’m fixated, I can’t think of any of the good things in my life, I become consumed by my target, and impose suffering on myself.
How do I improve this?
I have tried gratitude journalling but it’s never a habit that has stuck, and, it doesn’t help me much to do it at the end of the day. I need something to break my lighthouse focus immediately.
Instead, I realised that gratitude is a mental exercise I can do anytime. It’s similar to mindfulness in that it’s about noticing my environment and then appreciating it.
I’ve found writing the word ‘gratitude’ in various places I will see it during the day helps me to pattern interrupt.
I take a moment to look around, and find something to be grateful for, like the weather, the music I’m listening to, my comfortable clothes, the air-conditioning, the sound of my son sleeping, the car I’m driving, the dinner I’ll have later, and so on.
In this way I can diminish the thing that is upsetting me and zoom out to see the bigger picture.
